What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
