My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
