So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
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We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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