Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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