Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
