apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
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The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
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Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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