omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
