actually, I'm a sock model
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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