shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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