I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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