Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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