I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize