I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I FOUND THE LEGS
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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