OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
