**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
