I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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