After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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