I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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