God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
