Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My vagina is very pro this idea
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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