$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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