I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize