She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
