i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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