It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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