I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Is Oprah even human
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
