Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
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So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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