Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
