I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
