The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize