Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
