Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
