I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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