Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
