No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
