but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
