they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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