i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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