if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
