are you still at the devil's house?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
