It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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