i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize