would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
