VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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