it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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