I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
