Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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