I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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