in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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