this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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