"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
