i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
