i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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So many bounce houses so little time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize