then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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