I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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